The kiss of the porcupines: From attributing responsibility to forgiving

How to maintain relatedness in the context of being harmed by others, especially an intimate partner, is a fundamental human challenge. Forgiveness provides a way of meeting this challenge as it removes the barrier to relatedness caused by a transgression. But scientists know very little about forgiveness and its role in close relationships. This article therefore offers a conceptual analysis of forgiveness. The analysis then serves as the foundation for an organizational framework that can be used to study forgiveness in close relationships. Finally, preliminary data are presented that speak to some of the issues introduced in the article. Without forgiveness there is no future. Archbishop Desmond Tutu (1998) Correspondence concerning this article should be addressed to Frank Fincham, Department of Psychology, Park Hall, SUNY at Buffalo, Buffalo, NY 14260-4110. E-mail: [email protected]. The preparation of this article was supported by a grant from the Templeton Foundation and a grant from the Economic and Social Research Council. The author has benefited from numerous conversations with Steve Beach about forgiveness and would like to thank him, Karen Prager, Dean Pruitt, and Sandra Murray for their comments on an earlier draft of this